


Don't Mention It

by juiceslusus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coma, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sadstuck, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-06 11:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juiceslusus/pseuds/juiceslusus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Egbert has finished the game and all players involved are now in a new universe on a new Earth.  Shit happens to John while he's on his way to a hot date and so he is in the hospital.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Today was _not_  a normal day just like always. In fact, based off what I’ve experienced so far, no other days will ever be the same because of what happened today.

I woke up this morning shortly after Roxy had called me about our date. She knows that I hadn’t set an alarm for today and I had spent the night at Dave’s, so she was giving me a wake up call.

 

“Hey, Roxy.”

 

“John get up we gotta go and do the thing where we date each hoter and we haven’ got all day.”

 

“Actually, we do. We planned on hanging out for the whole entire day and I have no plans for tomorrow so--”

 

“Don’t be a smartass just get up and get _your ass_ over to Starbucks. And only your ass. The rest of you can stay home.”

 

Starbucks? Oh that’s right, she’s working today. “Huh, alright. When should I be there?”

  
“Are you still asleep, Egbert? It’s three pm. The hell were ya doing with Dave all night long? WINKS LOUDLY THROUGH PHONE!”

 

“Yeah, Roxo, I’m still asleep...and Roxy, I’m not sure what you’re implying but I am a homosexual and Dave and I are best bros and that is it okay glad that’s cleared up for y--”

 

“You _are_ a homosexual? Or was that a slip of the tongue? Pffhahah!”

  
“Ugh. Let’s just stop making implications about my sexuality and go to Starbucks.”

  
“Sorry ‘bout that, Johnny boy. Now as I’ve said before, get that ass over here.”

 

“Good thing I’m already dressed.”

 

“No one gives a fuck, Johno! In fact, _I'd_  prefer otherwise.”

 

She hung up.

 

I got up and went out of Dave’s room, which I wasn’t in for the reasons _some people_ may believe. By some people, surprisingly enough, I don’t _just_ mean Roxy. After the game, almost everyone began to assume that Dave and I would be a thing at some point. Really, I don’t see why. We’ve always been just two best bros who do things together. I have no idea where the idea came from and it infuriates me that people keep suggesting it. Can’t two guys be friends?

After stumbling around in Dave’s hallway for a couple minutes thinking hard about how we definitely don’t have the hots for each other, I managed to locate the exit. On my way out of the apartment I passed by Dirk Strider. He seemed to be making some sort of trap for Dave involving smuppets in the kitchen. I had noticed that he has been trying hard for a while now to be like Dave’s other Bro but doesn’t seem to feel quite right doing any of it. We exchanged stares as I left the apartment.

 

 

********

 

When the game ended, none of us kept our god tier powers. It was a sort of mutual agreement thing that Rose made us vote on. By the time we left the session, most who decided to live on Earth weren’t interested in our lives being changed even after it was “all over”. People like Jade, Jake, Roxy, and Dirk, who hadn’t had normal lives, were much happier to get another go at it rather than live as gods, and most of the time I’d agree with them. However, I feel that I could’ve lived with some of the perks that would have come with god tier powers.

You see, I don’t have a car. I have to walk halfway across the damn planet just to get to the thing that I’m going to ride on to get where I need to be. If I hadn’t been raised on cake my whole life prior to the game this might not be as big of a problem. However, I am not in any condition to be walking so far. I’m the least healthy of the group, despite the fact that Jane actually _liked_ the cake her dad made. Even if I didn’t use the windy thing to get somewhere, I could’ve easily gotten a free car just by saying that I helped create the universe...but I guess I’ll just have to deal with the extra exercise.

I walked for twenty minutes straight before reaching the subway station and I nearly fainted getting on. Gasping for breath (yes, I understand the irony), I avoided eye contact with everyone in the subway car. I felt my hands grow moist with sweat and the car hadn’t even started moving yet. 

I’ve always been nervous with public transportation because I had never had to deal with it before the game. Now I live in the city in an apartment with Jane instead of in the suburbs with dad and I miss my old house. Being on the subway reminds me of what I’ll never get back. “This is going to be a long ride,” I thought, as I felt the car get in motion.

 

 

  
********

 

“Five minutes until we reach our destination,” a man next to me said. I was surprised to see that it was not coming from the intercom, and I looked over at him. The first  thing I noticed were his eyes, the same blue as mine. “Alright, thanks for telling me,” I whispered.

 

“Don’t mention it.”

 

As I was about to respond, the subway car stopped and informative sparks flew all around the passengers, letting us know that we could (and _should_ ) panic. Before I could begin, I was pushed out of my seat by the blue-eyed man. The force caused by the abrupt stop launched me into a window. The last thing I heard before losing consciousness was the shattering of glass and the screams of concern from passengers I refused to look at when I got on.

 

 

********

 

I’m in a hospital room with Roxy and Jane; they seem to have just arrived. A couple of other people are waiting outside the room, but the nurse refuses to let them in because of the whole “only two people in the room at once” rule.

“Oh my _god_ , Janey! He looks awful…it’s all my fault for makin’ him rush to our date.” Roxy begins to cry and I want to comfort her and tell her I’m fine but Jane goes up to her first and puts an arm around her. “Rox, it isn’t your fault in the least. It was just a tragic accident.” Roxy nods as if by agreeing with Jane what happened just might be undone.

A tragic accident? I’m not sure what they’re talking about. Not exactly, anyway. I realize that the unexpected stop didn’t happen for a reason, but I was _pushed_ out of my seat. Pushed! Did no one see? Was the stunt this guy pulled not recorded on a security camera? Was there no police investigation?

 

Why isn’t anyone answering me.

 

Why aren’t the words I want to say forming in my mouth.

 

Why am I laying in the hospital bed on the other side of the room.

 

...

  
Am I in a coma?


	2. That Blue Eyed Douchebag Knocked Me Off the Seat and Now I’m in a Fucking Coma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's many friends visit him at the hospital.

That blue eyed douchebag knocked me off the seat and now I’m in a fucking coma.

 

Goddamnit. Just.

 

“Golly gee, Rox. You’ve _gotta_  face the fact that you’re not going to get to talk to John for a long time.” Jane is such an ass.

 

“Jane, please don’t. He really matters to me and now he’s...it’s my fault.” Augh, I was

pushed! I can’t communicate with anyone...it’s getting to be rather irritating.

  
“Roxy, it isn’t your fault at all!” Damn straight.

 

“Stop. I was the one who had ‘im get on the subway and he was on his way to go see _me_. If I hadn’t rushed him this morning--”

 

“Roxy,” Jane sighs. “I think it’d be best if we let the next pair in.”

 

As if summoned, Dave bursts into the room with Karkat. “Hey,” Dave says. Karkat looks over at me, and I see his expression of mild irritation change so fast it looks like someone _punched_  the feelings into him. Jane pulls Roxy out of the room just as the nurse comes by to remind them to leave.

 

“Well, fuck, Dave.”

 

“Yeah, I’m certain that that is what most people are thinking right about now.”

 

“John looks worse than I think I’ve ever seen him. It’s not like he has any life threatening stabs in the heart, but this just seems a shit load worse.”

 

“I...I know what you mean.” Wow, Dave is looking rather flustered. Can he not handle seeing his best bro in this state? It’s just some sort of concussion and minor bleeding...yeah. Karkat is crying.

 

“Woah dude, you alright?”

 

“Yeah, Dave. I’m okay.” Karkat storms out of the room.

 

Dave sighs and sits down on the chair provided in the corner of the room. “Y’know how they say coma patients can hear everything going on around them?” Yes.

 

“Well, I think I may as well talk as if you can hear me…” You do that.

 

“Haha, yeah. I’m talking with pauses like I’m waiting for you to fucking respond, as if that’s gonna happen.”

 

“I’m just going to ramble on. I always do that anyway.” You really do, but this isn’t the time for self-reflection.

 

“There were a lot of things I did and do want to tell you, John. But now that this has happened there’s no way in hell I’m ever going to get to. This accident…” NOT AN ACCIDENT!

 

“This accident has gotten in the way of what I really wanted to do. There were a lot of things left to say to you, but the doctors say that there’s an 80% chance you’re never going to wake up again...” Dave looks out the window.

 

What is he trying to do? _Scare me_   into waking up just so that he can tell me what he needs to tell me? Which is what?! He’s probably just joking about that. If he’d really need to tell me anything, he would’ve already done it! We’re best bros. We always tell each other _everything_  important.

He was probably looking out the window to hide his smirk; there’s no way I’m _that_  injured.

 

********

 

Another pair of visitors have come in since Dave had left. At first I couldn’t completely focus on them because I kept wondering what Dave was going to say. Damn that cool kid.

Vriska and Tavros came in next. I think that almost the whole time she was talking about how things used to be before I realized how she is a relatively awful person. Tavros just stood next to her like he was waiting to leave.

Everyone who wanted to be was fully healed once we got to the new Earth. Tavros can walk, Sollux can see, Vriska has her vision eightfold again...apparently. I don’t really know what that is. Some sort of special troll powers, or whatever. Every troll and human is in their best condition.

 

Well, every troll and human _was_  in their best condition.

 

“Maaaaaaaan, John. It’s just a shame that we don’t talk anymore! You sure were a lot of fun to speak to. Although, I would have to admit that Tavros makes a fair substitute.” She winks at Tavros.

 

Honestly, her dragging on about how we used to talk almost feels like bragging to me. This, of course, is because I just cannot talk to her right now. Would you tell a person who is paralyzed that they should stop being unable to walk and go up those stairs?

She continues to go on about how in this universe she lives in this amazing house with Aranea and the Peixes girls. They’re both authors. Vriska writes “fiction” novels about her experiences on Alternia, and then she talks about how she doesn’t like having to live with Meenah and Feferi.

 

“Hey, Vriska. Uh, we _really_  have to leave….There are other people waiting outside, you know.”

 

“ _Fine_. Bye, John!!!!!!!!”

 

Vriska tries to grab Tavros’ hand as they walk out of the room, but he is having none of it and pulls away immediately, looking vaguely uncomfortable. Vriska smacks him on the back of the head as they walk through the door. I guess the marriage thing didn’t work out.

 

Like I care.

 

After Vriska and Tavros, Rose and Kanaya came in. They just said that they hope I wake up, explained to me my situation in great detail and left. _Thanks_ , guys. Great comforting skills.

Apparently, a person can be in a coma for many reasons. Mine is due to the head injury I obtained from smashing into a window and then falling halfway out of a subway.

In order for someone to have a coma, at least one of two parts of their brain have to be damaged: one known as the cerebral cortex, or the other part called the reticular activating system, or RAS.

The cerebral cortex controls all of the sensations a person experiences, as well as the ability to do any voluntary actions.

 

The RAS just gives me the ability to wake up.

 

Besides the brain injuries, I also chipped my teeth by banging my head on a pole while I was dangling halfway out of the subway window, and the glass stabbed me a bit in the torso. For the time being I have to have an oxygen mask on due to difficulty breathing.

  
Ironic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dumb thing that happened while writing the chapter: 
> 
> “Well, fuck, Dave.”
> 
> “Yeah I’m certain that that is what most people are thinking right about now.”
> 
> “No, you misheard me. Let’s fuck, Dave.”
> 
> “Fine.”
> 
> THEY DID IT. THEY FRICK FRACKED SO MAGNIFICENTLY AND SENSUALLY THAT JOHN CAME OUT OF HIS COMA JUST TO WATCH. BUT AS SOON AS THEY STOPPED, HE WENT BACK INTO IT SO THEY HAD TO GIVE UP THEIR LIVES TO MAKE JOHN’S DAVEKAT FANTASIES A REAL. THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> THis IS ACTUALLY MY FRIST HAMSTROKE FANFIC PLEEAS E DON'T HURT ME


End file.
